I'm disgusted by these sanctimonious bastards
Who baptize their flock with their fondlings
Masturbation, sodomies and hypocritical vows of chastity and poverty
They're all cold-hearted people
With nothing but murder and hate in their souls

Let me know if you believe in resurrection
The virgin birth
The burning bush
The parting of the sea and all the other garbage
I really wanna know

You see, I have this bridge I'm looking to sell
It's called the Brooklyn Bridge
And I'm looking for a buyer
Maybe you're interested
I will give you a really good deal
'Cause I'm gonna start a new religion

I wanna start a new religion!
I wanna start a new religion!
I don't believe in the old one
I don't believe in the old one...

Do you know how the blessings of your God really add up?
There are annual dues to be paid
The extracted pledges and collection plate too
The services of your priest at a baptism or wedding really cost you
Why do I have to pay for this?
They could get real jobs and pay taxes too
Well I'm not payin' anymore!
'Cause I'm gonna start a new religion

I wanna start a new religion!
I wanna start a new religion!
I don't believe in your heaven
I don't believe in your heaven...

Why should I burn in hell
'Cause I belong to a different religion?
If I'm a good person
Good people shouldn't be excluded!
Just because they haven't been baptized, batmitzvahed
Just be a good person, the best you can
And you won't have to change your religion!
'Cause I'm gonna start a new one

I wanna start a new religion!
I wanna start a new religion!
I'm so tired of the hatred